My name is Kayla and as of today I am officially a Certified Child Life Specialist! A Child Life Specialist works with hospitalized children and their families to promote healthy coping, age appropriate education, and emotional support for the whole family. I have had the privilege to walk with God as He's spent the last seven years preparing me for this work. God is faithful. And this is my story.
In 2013 my mom received an email with a list of mission trips that the high school ministry at our church would be taking students on. Port-Au Prince, Haiti was on the list. She laughed and said: "I will never send my kid to Haiti". Immediately she felt God say: "Are you sure?".
At the time she was reading that email, I was on a weekend retreat- where I experienced God's presence like never before. Talk about "God's timing". When I got home she jokingly asked if I wanted to go to Haiti. To her shock, I already had Haiti on my heart. We prayed about the decision for several weeks, with God confirming to her and I that I was supposed to be on this mission. Our family was furious and asked my mom: "How will you feel if she dies there...and you let her go?". Cue Wendy saying one of her craziest prayers of all..."God I'm going to trust you. I hope that this is a Good God Story. I hope she experiences life change. But if she dies...help me to show your glory in my sadness." And that woman released me to Him!
I went to Haiti and I did experience life change, including the first clue into my future career field! While interacting with a group of children, I noticed one sitting alone. Without thinking about it I gravitated to that child and began engaging in play. On our way back to the village, a leader approached me and asked what I wanted to do with my life. "I don't know, maybe something with kids." Their response: "You are supposed to work with kids." It felt as if God himself had affirmed it. It was in Haiti that I realized I wasn't supposed to just work with children...I wanted to help children who were experiencing devastation.
I was a senior in high school when an admissions adviser from Concordia University visited the high school. Out of the blue this admission counselor mentions a new program, Family and Child Life. Immediately something stirred inside of me. I felt the Holy Spirit surround me and whisper: "You're going to do that." As soon as I Googled "Child Life Specialist", I felt an answer to prayer and an inner peace. It was the perfect fit. I knew that this was exactly what God wanted me to do.
Fast forward to 2018 and I'm in my junior year at Concordia University. I'm a Family Life major with a minor in Child Life- and absolutely loving every single class. I apply for a Child Life practicum (a 120 hour shadow experience with a Child Life Specialist)...but I'm not chosen for a position. Discouraged, I apply a second time, knowing that if I'm not offered a position for the summer semester my internship and graduation could be delayed. I go through several rounds of interviews and...I'm chosen! Not only was I offered the practicum, but I was placed on the night shift in the Emergency Department...a unit I had said I would NEVER want to work on. This same summer, our foster children were placed back in our home after being removed a second time from their biological home. This was the summer that God opened my eyes to trauma. I already knew I wanted to help children who had experienced devastation. God used my experiences in the emergency department and in my own home to fine tune my skill set and strengthen me so that I could support others in the midst of trauma.
After completing- and loving- my child life practicum, I began applying for internships (a 600 hour supervised student position). I spent eight months working on those applications and interviews. During this time I really didn't involve God. I believed that my success was dependent on my efforts. I felt like I was doing the best that I could do and that me securing a competitive internship was based on my interview skills, my knowledge based, and the amount of work I was willing to commit to my applications. Of the ten hospitals I applied to, I was only offered a second interview with one of them. I rocked my interview and felt that the internship would be offered to me. On Offer Day I spent the entire day sitting next to my boyfriend and waiting for the call. It didn't come. I was devastated. I had poured everything I could into those applications. And in that moment, it had been for nothing. To make the situation worse I had:
a) told many people about the interview. I was humiliated. I believed that my value in the eyes of others was dependent would decrease because I hadn't succeeded.
b) I had an hour to grieve before I had to be at a child life mentorship meeting that I was leading. How was I worthy to mentor when I couldn't even get an internship?
c) I had to apply again. And I had five weeks before the next applications were due.
The next month was a flurry of applications. In the midst of applications, I was angry and resentful towards God. If He wanted me to be in this career field, why was I getting a setback that would delay my graduation by a semester and require me to do two internships- one to meet my graduation requirements and one to actually certify to be a CCLS. I was disappointed in myself and so consumed with feeling sorry for myself that I became destructive to every relationship in my life.
I look at this time period now with thanksgiving. It was necessary in humbling me and forcing me to be reflective about flaws in my character. I learned that:
1. Even though I talked about coping skills to anyone who would listen...my coping skills were terrible!
2. This was the first time in my life I hadn't gotten something that I had worked for. I was so consumed in privilege that I didn't know how to react when I didn't "succeed".
3. My value was rooted in what other's thought about me. If I didn't succeed, I was worth nothing to those around me.
I didn't like God's plan for me. But I knew that He had been faithful on every step of this process so far. I had confirmation from Him that I was in the right field. I hated the thought of going through the process again so I knew I had to change things the second time around. I applied to twenty three hospitals across the country. And even though I was angry at God, I pushed through that to say "If this is your plan for me, we need to do this together." With each interview I was offered, I asked for God to fill me with His spirit. I prepared what I needed to prepare on the professional side of the process, but before, during, and after each interview I was praying. I was praying to be a Light to the interview committees. I was praying to find favor in their eyes if it was the hospital God wanted me at. I was praying that He would make it clear to me if it was a program that I wasn't the right fit for, that He would give me the words to say, and He would give me peace if the decision was a no. Prayer, perspective, and a lot of practice interviews changed the game. On Offer Day I was offered four internships. FOUR. Two of which were in my top two choices for a placement. I was AMAZED by God's goodness. I prayed that if God wanted me to be at the larger institution (the one more so out of my comfort zone), I wouldn't hear from the smaller program until after noon on Acceptance Day. As soon as I hung up the phone from accepting the position at the large institution, I was called by the smaller one. I knew- God had orchestrated everything for me to be an intern at Cincinnati Children's.
I was assigned three preceptors' during my internship. One of these women reminded me of my mom- a huge comfort for someone living away from home for the first time. One preceptor had fostered and adopted children- just like my parents were doing. One had a sense of joy so uncommon in our world that people wanted to be near her. Without ever having a conversation about religion, I could see the Holy Spirit in each of these women. I could see how their relationship with God allowed them to connect with children, families, and staff with humility and grace. They were a vision of the Child Life Specialist I could be- one who made those around them want to know what made me different. That difference is the Holy Spirit.
I loved every moment of that internship. I was reassured daily that this career is what God had been preparing me to do since I was a 16 year old mixing concrete in Haiti. When I moved home at the end of my internship I began applying for jobs and studying for my certification exam. I interviewed for a position out of state that appeared perfect...but something was telling me not to accept it. I trusted my gut and declined the offer, knowing that it was a risky move as I had no other job prospects. Months later as I write this blog I recognize that had I taken the position, I would RIGHT NOW be alone in another state, isolated and unable to see my family due to COVID-19. That "gut feeling"...that's God.
Although I did not accept that position, I am anxiously awaiting for the curve to settle so that I can begin my first job as a CHILD LIFE SPECIALIST in the same emergency department I was in two summers ago when God opened my eyes and heart to families in trauma. God's plan is perfect. Things that don't happen in our time frame don't have to define us. And I will attest to my dying day that He has a life of purpose and fulfillment for each of us. Look at how He has used the last seven years of my life to prepare me for this moment.
Many are the plans in a person’s heart, but it is the Lord’s purpose that prevails. Proverbs 19:21
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| Bring on the bubbles, I'm a Child Life Specialist! |
